Pontiac Phoenix (1980 - 1984)
This car might have escaped the list altogether had the green coupe version with painted wood panels not been sitting at a stoplight driven by one of the beard-brandishing bandits themselves.
Originally sold as a top-trim version of the Pontiac Ventura, the Phoenix came in rear-wheel drive with an optional 5.0-liter V8. But much like the “machines” sending Schwarzenegger back in time to kill John Connor and prevent something awesome from happening, the rear-drive and V8 were both scrapped in 1980.
Instead, Pontiac started peddling the wet sneeze on wheels you see here. Of course, this one isn’t wearing painted wood panels or a roof rack, but who’s counting?