Top 10 Hipster Cars, Not in Ironic Order

Top 10 Hipster Cars, Not in Ironic Order
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Pontiac Phoenix (1980 - 1984)

This car might have escaped the list altogether had the green coupe version with painted wood panels not been sitting at a stoplight driven by one of the beard-brandishing bandits themselves.

Originally sold as a top-trim version of the Pontiac Ventura, the Phoenix came in rear-wheel drive with an optional 5.0-liter V8. But much like the “machines” sending Schwarzenegger back in time to kill John Connor and prevent something awesome from happening, the rear-drive and V8 were both scrapped in 1980.

Instead, Pontiac started peddling the wet sneeze on wheels you see here. Of course, this one isn’t wearing painted wood panels or a roof rack, but who’s counting?

  • Beards.

    Beards.
    Also didn’t Indiana Jones drive a Thing?

  • AllMyFriendsAreADickheads

    This song is dedicated to hipsters. lmfao. so funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

    Got to click over and watch / listen. You’ll pee your pants.

  • Colum Wood

    Well, he did wear a fedora. Closet hipster?

  • James K

     He did wear a fedora… friggin Hipster

  • Mcdonaldgeraldmark

    Great article.  Well done.

  • indy

    Manufacture of the Thing started in 1968, a long time after the Indiana Jones era. He may have driven something like a Thing, but it was not a Thing.  

  • indy

    Why in the part about the Pontiac Phoenix, does the writer talk about the green wood trimmed  Chevrolet Chevette, as if it is a Pontiac Phoenix?

  • Etmccaus

    What he said. I could ID a Chevette before it was cool to make fun of people who drive them in order to be ironically uncool. #metahipster

  • nagger tits

    those cars are boss. i think the author is confusing hipsters for hippies. 

  • Guest

    Oh god. That Pheonix just brought back a flood of memories of my first car as a 16-year-old in the 80’s. The baby-blue Pontiac Pheonix with 2.8L V6 was a hand-me-down from Mom, who got it as a hand-me-down from my grandmother, and it looked like it.  I think it came with estrogen as standard equipment.
    There was no real awareness of hipster irony in those days. If you were cool and had money in high school, you were in an IROC-Z Camaro or a Mustang GT.  If you were riding in something like a Phoenix….pffft…hahahaha.

     But it was all I had I squeezed every ounce of life out of that thing and had some good times until we eventually donated it to the Salvation Army for a tax write-off.  I would be pretty surprised to see one of those still running on the road.

  • Kpwritescopy

    The 2CV was sold in the US from 1958 through 1961. Not many, but officially. The Richard Dreyfus character in American Graffiti drove one…

  • Jjon

    lada or lancia or trabants the latter was a communist luxury car how much more ironic can you get

  • Meade Skelton

    In general ,a hipster would never drive a car. But I would think the most ironic car for a hipster would be a “soccer mom” mini van- like a Plymouth Voyager or something circa 1998.

  • Colum Wood

    Nice one! A Plymouth Voyager for sure!

  • KeepItReal

    Agreed but those are more retro vintage choices.
    There needs to be an overzealous enviro-concious statement somewhere.

    To that I’d say the Toyota Prius would fit the bill.
    Come to Norcal and see the Prius horde.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34201368 George Dumblione

    hipster

  • KevinT

    No Subaru outback?!

  • chevyftw

    Ironically (lmao) I consider myself a bit of this kind from head to toe but I’m not a fan of these wimpy cars *because they’re so typical*. I’m a sucker for rear-wheel drive, blower-having, menacing looking grunty muscles that are over 350 CUI so I’m pretty sure people find me weird for loving redneck mobiles while looking like a total city slicker. Only when it comes to cars I feel like the Smokey and the Bandit guy. Want me be to funny? Okay, eco is too mainstream!!