Top 10 Worst Engine Names Ever

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Top 10 Worst Engine Names Ever

The engine found inside a vehicle usually receives a name based on some sort of manufacturer specific numbering and lettering convention. However, every once in a while a manufacturer will feel a little fiery and give that new hunk of metal an actual, proper name.

These names, more often than not, conjure up images of power and hairy-chested strength. Names like Rocket 350, BOSS and Fireball. Or, sometimes the name will refer to the design of the engine itself like Hemi (referring to hemispherical combustion chambers) or Quad-4, which is a dumb name in itself, but at least referred to four valves on four cylinders.

But now and then, a manufacturer will reveal their latest and greatest engineer marvel and slap on a name that leaves us scratching our heads in disbelief, or is just so pretentious our eyes can’t stop rolling. Remember the have-your-cake-and-eat-it-to named Ford inline-6 called the ‘Thriftpower’? Well, that didn’t even make this list.

Vulcan

Starting our list is the Ford Vulcan V6. Chances are you or someone you know owned a vehicle with a Vulcan engine, as it was very popular in many a front-wheel drive Ford from 1986-2008. Although rumor has it the name was chosen in homage to the mythological Roman god of fire and iron-working (it was an iron block engine after all), we really think there were a few Trekkies working in the R&D department when this engine was created. Keep your eyes peeled for the Ford Borg Inline-Four.


Stovebolt

OK, this was never the official name of the Inline-6 engine from Chevrolet, but due to the slotted-head bolts used in the engine that resembled those used in wood burning stoves, the nickname cometh.  We are not sure if Chevrolet liked this connotation or not, but there are a lot of worse household mechanical items it could have been named after; at least it wasn’t the ‘Toilet Anchor Six’ or ‘Sewage Clamp Six’.

Photo Courtesy of Flickr user OSX

SkyActiv

Pretentious name shamelessly conjuring up images of green living and clean air? Check. Is it the worst offender of this crime? Negative; that engine arrives later in our top 10 – much later.


Prince

When BMW revived the MINI brand with the new Cooper in 2001, they went all-in when it came to bastardizing British culture. Union Jacks on the roof and countless special editions named after various regions in the U.K. were not enough. Time came to produce a new engine for the MINI in 2004, and of course it was called the ‘Prince’.  We are surprised they didn’t go all-out and call it the Prince William or Prince Charles.


Iron Duke

Is ‘Prince’ not a manly enough monarchical name for you? How about a burly Duke then? Not just any Duke either, but an Iron Duke! Pontiac slapped this macho name on its iron block 2.5L four cylinder engine, which immediately became endearing to many; the name that is, not the engine.


Wankel

We know. This engine was named after its inventor, Felix Wankel. And being a German, maybe he was unaware of how close his last name was to the British put-down term ‘Wanker’.  Either way, those with a grasp of the English language have a hard time not thinking of Wanker when they hear Wankel.


CoBra

This engine gets special mention for having two ridiculous names. First, the official name of CoBra, which stands for the engines manufacturing process of being COpper BRAzed, needs no explanation of ‘when capitalization goes wrong’. But if that were not enough, this engine also features the nickname of ‘The Mighty Tin’.

Photo Courtesy of Flickr user Bencmq

Cummins

What is it with the names of these heavy duty diesel pickup truck engines that sends our minds directly to the gutter? Maybe we’re just immature. What about Powerstroke? Duramax? Jeez.


Goldfish

In 1987, BMW began mulling the idea of stuffing a 6.7L V16 engine into a 7 Series as a special sporty model, complete with a 6-speed manual transmission.  So, what do you call this 16-cylinder fire breathing, fuel burning monster? Why ‘Project Goldfish’ of course. Perhaps the engine name ‘Hamster’ was already taken.


Earth Dreams

Setting new levels of pretension, and being a definitively un-catchy name, we have the Honda Earth Dreams. Sure green is in right now, and this new V6 is fairly efficient, but it’s highly doubtful that if the earth could dream, it would dream about a mechanical appliance forged out of precious, non-renewable resources, consuming other non-renewable resources. That would be more of an Earth Nightmare; quick someone sell that name to Bugatti.

  • http://dbcooper.livejournal.com P.F. Bruns

    How could “Skyactiv” possibly be worse than “Thriftpower?”

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2YLH7V6KYFL4J6U5FMOVHZ6QFA Soyntgo4it

    You forgot EcoTec By GM and Eco-Boost by Ford also there is Lamda and Tau oh and Gamma by Hyundai the list can go on with this brand. 

    I mean there are so man weird names for all Manufacturer engines does anyone really care?

  • simon

    anything eco, rams ‘new’ eco diesel its been out in other countrys for a couple of years as just the diesel option

  • DuramaxLover

    “Cummins” is a man’s surname. The company has a rich history of performance and industrial engine technology.

    “Powerstroke” is a compound word Ford decided to use so they had something to call their IHC diesel instead of what most people would have simply called a “Corn Binder”. The “power stroke”, as every first year mechanics student knows is simply one of the four strokes that a four stroke internal combustion engine goes through…Those being…Intake, Compression, Power, Exhaust.

    GM made up the name “Duramax” (which means nothing) because they were afraid to let the cat out of the bag by calling it, “Isuzu”, which is what it is.

    Moderately amusing article.

  • Shiratori1

    This list is BS.

  • Jeff

    Iron Duke not endearing? Was a very very durable engine from GM. Not very powerful even compared to it’s peers back in the day… but it was very reliable.

    Cummins isn’t a name made by FCA.. it is the brand of diesel engine used in their trucks… just like tractors/mowers with the Briggs and Stratton name on the side… they only made the engine.

  • http://www.facebook.com/richardjoash Richard Joash Tan

    AND THIS LIST IS EARTH BULLSHIT!

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