Top 10 Reasons to Get a Sports Car

Top 10 Reasons to Get a Sports Car
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4. Sex Appeal

Let’s be honest, the average sedan elicits about as many emotions as shopping for a mattress. Price and comfort are the top priorities when buying either one. Responsibility and sensibility are never exciting. Thankfully sports cars are there to serve a discerning – or lucky – few, just like the Craftmatic adjustable bed.

It’s said cameras add 10 pounds to whomever they photograph; a similar phenomenon occurs when someone climbs behind the wheel of a boring car. The vehicle adds at least 10 years to their age, but there is a solution to this problem. Stylish sports cars actually make their drivers look younger and hotter – it’s science. Perhaps your waistline has expanded as fast as your hairline has receded, no worries, just start driving a Lotus. Problem solved, and chances are passersby won’t even notice your toupee blowing in the breeze.

  • Larry

    Cause vagine

  • My GF

    I sent this to my girlfriend for entertainment value… however, her response was far more entertaining:

    I think it’s funny that they
    thought the people reading this would be so intellectually devoid that they
    would confuse one of our most well-known philosophers with Play-Doh. J

    Permission to be a smartass…

    Top 10 Reasons to Get a Sports
    Car

    1.
    Light and Chuckable

    a. Very good Grug. Lighter car go fast, ugh ugh.

    2.
    Bragging Rights

    a. People will be so jealous of you. Especially the
    guy next door with a hot wife and a couple of great kids that are going to take
    care of him in his old age while you are pissing out a tube and reminiscing
    about how great you once had it.

    3.
    Aesthetic Appeal

    a. Someone famous was quoted here…there can be no logical
    argument against that…

    4.
    Sex Appeal

    a. Yeah, no one will notice your toupee blowing in the wind
    or your 20 lb gut flopping out over your pants while you try to drag your fat
    ass out of a car that’s practically sitting on the ground. Translation: I
    will believe anything if there is hot girl in the commercial.

    5.
    Symphonic Sounds

    a. My car sounds so good…yeah I’m pumping poisons into the
    air, increasing childhood occurrences of asthma, and shortening the life of our
    planet as a whole, but…my car sounds so good. Ugh ugh.

    6.
    Limited Seating

    a. If a man wants to be an island maybe he shouldn’t move to
    the city.

    7.
    Quick Acceleration

    a. Yeah…I’m that guy. You know the one that zips around in
    his car and the hugeness of his dick literally explodes out of the windshield.

    8.
    Row ‘em if You’ve
    Got ‘em

    a. Self-shifting…I’ve been doing that since I was 7.

    9.
    Technocracy

    a. Term originally used to designate the application of the
    scientific method to solving social problems, in counter distinction to the
    traditional economic, political, or philosophic approaches. I thought we
    were using Plato as our source of truth…wasn’t he a philosopher who used
    philosophical symbolism to portray much of his political ideology? Fail.

    10.
    Joie de vivre

    a. There is a whole wiki page devoted to statistics on
    motorsport driver deaths. Yes…I would say “joy of life” is the
    most accurate description that could be made here.