Jeremy Clarkson Names His Top 10 Terrible Cars

Jeremy Clarkson Names His Top 10 Terrible Cars

After revealing his Top 10 Star Cars, Jeremy Clarkson has now done the opposite.

The former host of Top Gear has listed his stinkers, cars that he just absolutely did not enjoy driving in the last year or so. Many of the cars on his terrible 10 list aren’t even sold in North America, but there were a few that caught our attention.

SEE ALSO: Jeremy Clarkson Reveals His Top 10 Star Cars

Vauxhall Astra SRi NAV


The Vauxhall Astra isn’t sold in North America, but it’s particularly interesting because the British automaker is owned by General Motors. Despite having a 1.6-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine with 197 horsepower, Clarkson didn’t have much to say about the Astra: “I still had to cobble together some thoughts on the Vauxhall, though. It was red and turbocharged and it would be fine for anyone who needed four wheels and a place to sit down when moving out. And now I’m out of space, which is probably a good thing, because I have nothing else to say about it.”

Infiniti Q30 Premium Tech


Known as the Infiniti QX30 in the U.S., the compact crossover didn’t leave a good impression with Clarkson. He did say the 2.2-liter turbocharged diesel engine with 168 hp moved the car along and seemed fuel efficient enough, but it sounded “like a canal boat when it’s cold.” But Clarkson ended up giving the Q30 two stars because the powerplant just didn’t have enough power, and we all know how much the eccentric host loves power.

BMW X1 xDrive25d


Another diesel model on the list, Clarkson had very few nice things to say about the BMW X1 xDrive25d. He criticized the original X1 model for feeling like a cement mixer and it doesn’t seem like the new-generation model pleases him either. “I suppose that, all things considered, it’s not a bad car. It doesn’t crash all the time, or explode,” he noted. “If it were a Kia or a car from one of those weird Chinese companies, you’d say it was quite nice.”

But the problem is, it’s a BMW and Clarkson holds the company to a higher standard.

Volkswagen Scirocco 2.0 TDI


For all those wishing the Volkswagen Scirocco was sold in the U.S., maybe you shouldn’t. At least, not with a 2.0-liter TDI engine. In the most Clarkson way possible, the critic explained that he didn’t even want to drive the new Scirocco. “You know how it goes. You enjoyed a year-long relationship 35 years ago. You hook up again, thanks to Facebook. And she has turned into a moose,” referring to a random old flame. “Nobody wants that in their lives. Better to keep love from the past as a memory.”

Nissan GT-R Track Edition


But the most surprising car on the list has to be the Nissan GT-R Track Edition. Clarkson absolutely raves about the standard GT-R model, calling it a five-star car. But the Track Edition is an entirely different story. “There is no give. At all. Drive over a manhole cover and you get some idea of what it might be like to be involved in a plane crash,” he says. “You actually feel the top of your spine bouncing off the inside of your skull.”

Sadly, Clarkson gave the Nissan GT-R Track Edition no stars at all, saying that it’s pretty much useless.

Other cars that were named on the list include: Skoda Superb SE L Executive, Zenos E10 S, Renault Kadjar dCi 130 Signature Nav, Seat Leon X-Perience SE Technology and Hyundai i800.

[Source: The Sunday Times]

Discuss this story on our Nissan GT-R Forum

  • Although Clarkson is fun to watch, I think he is “nuts” with a few of the cars on his list. A Nissan GT-R, VW Scirocco TDI and a BMW X-1 with a diesel are cars many in the US would love to own.

  • craigcole

    Is it autumn yet? I want to see “The Grand Tour!”

  • Perry F. Bruns

    The Vauxhall/Opel Astra is essentially a Chevrolet Cruze hatchback. They’re both on the D2XX platform–and share so many internal bits that I laugh every time Chevrolet advertises this 2-year-old variant as “All new for 2017.”

  • jimbo124816

    The Nissan GT-R has no springs in the suspension, and it has a motor that is stressed almost to the breaking point by forcing it to provide huge horsepower figures and race car handling. That’s fine if you can afford to trade in your cars every 2 years, but most people get stuck with a car that will nickel and dime you to death.

    And the diesels are noisy, smelly, and it’s sometimes hard to find diesel fuel in some places in the USA, and VW is currently dealing with the States and the Federal government over lying about the Diesels’ emissions.

  • Isend2C

    Funny because he and May made advertisements for specifically that Scirocco, the TDI. Although they hated it then too. Seems like you can gather a lot of his opinions by the power plant fuel… If its a diesel, its bad, according to him.

  • I can appreciate the shortcomings of the Nissan GT-R, but having a couple Sunday drivers in my garage that I tinker with more than drive, I still wouldn’t mind one!

    As for diesels, you’re barking up the wrong tree badmouthing them with me. My spring and fall daily driver is a Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel that is still a quirky favorite and my daily-daily is a BMW X5 35D that I’ve got tweaked to 358HP/542ft-lb TQ that returns nearly 30 mpg on a road trip. Hard to get that with many 2-1/2 Ton SUVs … and with diesel currently selling 20 cents below gasoline, I’m pretty happy. Currently at 150K on the odometer so we’ll see how longevity and resale values hold compared to the gasoline version. (and the “hard to find diesel fuel” is a joke leftover from the last century!) 😉

  • jimbo124816

    Glad you get Diesel fuel for 20 cents cheaper, but in my area, diesel fuel is 20 cents more that gasoline.

  • danwat1234

    Well, at least he didn’t mention Tesla………

  • danwat1234

    Plugin hybrid Atkinson gas is the way to go as battery price comes down farther in the coming years.

  • Mad Doggie

    No Lada motor cars were mentioned.