Five-Point Inspection: 2013 Infiniti IPL G Convertible

Parked next to a hapless BMW 335i, the Infiniti looks like Heidi Klum beside Susan Boyle.

In the IPL trim, Infiniti froux-frouxs the car further with bigger chrome exhaust tips and in our tester, “Moonlight” white paint and IPL-specific 19-inch gun metal black rims.

The car also gets a more aggressive-looking front fascia helped by a large front spoiler. Larger black plastic pieces surround the fog lights and revised side sills lend a lower, sporty look.

Make no mistake, that isn’t meant to suggest that the car is in any way feminine, just pretty like a woman. The only time the flared fenders look any better is when you get behind the wheel.

From behind that wheel, you’ll immediately notice three things: the tastefully-placed brushed aluminum, sumptuous red leather upholstery and miles of legroom for taller drivers. In fact, it has two inches more than a BMW 335i convertible.

But for those who won’t need it, the Japanese automaker’s top-end appointments will do fine. The seats are comfortable, well bolstered and look fantastic against the car’s paint in either black or the white our car has. Better still, all the buttons offer satisfying feedback and the brushed aluminum accents offer a refreshing change from the “piano black” nonsense so many designs favor these days.

Wowed as we were with those aspects, poor ergonomics made driving the car terribly frustrating at times.

Opening the center console requires both front seat occupants to lift their elbows ridiculously high. Certain buttons on the steering wheel are also unnecessarily hard to reach.

But for those who won’t need it, the Japanese automaker’s top-end appointments will do fine. Though all ergonomics aren’t perfect, the seats are comfortable, well bolstered and look fantastic against the car’s paint in either black or the white our car has.

Better still, all the buttons offer satisfying feedback and the brushed aluminum accents offer a refreshing change from the “piano black” nonsense so many designs favor these days.

It’s hardly news, but Nissan knows how to make a great sounding V6 and this is no exception. Thanks to the special IPL exhaust, the car doesn’t just sound good, it a velvety moan that sings.

Despite that, the car is less of a performer than you might assume. The IPL convertible is responsive and stable in corners, but the suspension is designed to absorb imperfections. This is a cruising car with sporty capability, not the other way around.

In IPL trim, the car is more powerful than the normal G37, but at 343 hp it’s a disappointing 18 more than the cheaper version.

That would be fine were it not for the German competition’s significantly more athletic capability. Even in manual mode, the seven-speed automatic transmission is slow to shift and unsatisfying.

IPL stands for “Infiniti Performance Line,” and while the car certainly isn’t slow, beware of anyone in an Mercedes AMG or M-powered BMW — they’re all going to laugh at you.

Infiniti offers the IPL G convertible for $60,600 which slots it in a mere $200 below the BMW 335is convertible.

Even if the Infiniti performed on par with the BMW, we had one key gripe: the convertible hard top. It renders the trunk entirely useless while tucked away, but then again so do many others.

Worse than that, the actual process involved with opening it is jarring and offensive in such an expensive car. The automaker touts its system as elegant and it looks good while up and down, but getting there is perilously unpleasant.

The car looks, sounds and feels gorgeous on the road — there’s really no contesting it.

This is supposed to be Infiniti’s top performer, but it would have to jump and swing up just to hit anything from BMW’s M Division in the knees.