Giving Thanks to the Automakers in 2013

Acura

Thank you for continually teasing us that an NSX is indeed on the way. Thank you for bringing out another great MDX with those crazy jewel eye headlights and thanks for finally euthanizing the ZDX.

Aston Martin

Thank you for continuing to make some of the sexiest cars on the planet, even if most of us can’t afford them. Thank you for the crazy CC100 Concept and for finally killing off the Cygnet.

Audi

Thank you for knowing the world could always use more S and RS models like the S3, RS 7, SQ5 and RS 5 Cabriolet. Thanks for the Sport Quattro Concept (even if it was a LOT heavier than expected) and for finally giving diesel to the people.

BMW

Thank you for creating the sexy new 4 Series coupe and the bad-ass M6 Gran Coupe. Thank you for taking a risk with the funky i3 electric car and i8 supercar. Finally, thanks you for not bringing us front-wheel drive vehicles – yet.

Buick

A big thanks for adding all-wheel drive to the Regal. Thank you for giving Opel a reason to exist. Thanks for giving us hope that a Grand National could return to showroom floors and thank you for continuing to use eAssist; wait… scratch that last one.

Cadillac

Thank you for continuing to up your game. Thanks for the new CTS and its twin-turbo V6. Thank you for a new Escalade that proves dinosaurs do still exist.

Chevrolet

Thank you for the revised Malibu and diesel Cruze…ah who are we kidding. Forget those. Thanks for the Corvette Stingray and Camaro Z/28.

Chrysler

Thanks for continuing to make the mobster-ready 300C full-size sedan. Thank you (we think) for obscure special editions like the Motown and John Varvatos editions.

Dodge

Thank you for making a proper compact car and thanks for Uconnect – an actual user friendly infotainment system. Thank you for creating over 70 Ron Burgandy ads that happen to also feature a Durango.

Ferrari

Thanks for making some of the most bad-ass cars on the planet today. And thank you for knowing they’re so good that you don’t even bother thinking up names for them. LaFerrari… really?

Fiat

Thanks for the cheeky Abarth that proves four-bangers can sound sexy. And thanks for television ads that run off the principle that sex sells.

Fisker

Thanks for the low-volume instant classic. Also, thanks for giving Bob Lutz a retirement hobby.

Ford

Thank you for two of the best hot hatches today; the Focus ST and Fiesta ST. And thanks for still making the completely bonkers Shelby GT 500.

GMC

Thank you for continuing to produce better looking versions of Chevrolet trucks.

Honda

Thank you for the new Accord Hybrid, constantly improving the Civic, supercharging the CR-Z and making a lawnmower that can hit 60 mph in just 4 seconds. Thanks for giving us the ridiculous phrase ‘Earth Dreams’ and the endless fun we have mocking it.

Hyundai

We would like to give thanks for the turbo party that is happening at Hyundai. Thank you for the new engine in the Elantra and the great looking Santa Fe brothers. Thanks for preparing us for the zombie apocalypse.

Infiniti

Thank you for the technology packed Q50 and innovative QX60 hybrid. Thanks for trying to keep us on our toes with the new naming system… we’re still trying to figure it out.

Jaguar

Thank you for the awesome F-Type and adding all-wheel drive to your sedans. Thank you for pissing off my neighbors making some of the loudest street cars on earth.

Jeep

Thank you for the new Grand Cherokee’s four engine choices that include a diesel and a ludicrous 470 hp V8. Thanks for killing the CVT in the Compass and for ensuring the Cherokee was market ready before launching it… oh wait… nevermind.

Kia

Thank you for the new Cadenza near luxury car and cool Niro concept car. Thanks for ignoring all advice and reason and boldly naming your new vehicle the K900.

Lamborghini

Thank you knowing the Veneno would not be exclusive enough and creating three roadster editions at the outrageous price of $4.4 million. Thanks for knowing we hate driving with other people by creating the Egoista single seat supercar. And generally, thanks for building cars that look like concept cars.

Land Rover

Thank you for putting all your new products on a diet. Thank you for making the new Range Rover Sport live up to the name ‘sport’ … at least in supercharged V8 form.

Lexus

Thanks for a year’s worth of crazy concept vehicles and thank you for the sliding F-Sport gauges in the new IS. Thanks for the new F-Sport editions and for not making an LX 570 F Sport.

Lincoln

Thank you for still trying.

Lotus

Thanks for the Exige S Cup Car. Thank you for coming back down to earth and thanks for continuing to be the best use of Toyota engines.

Maserati

Thank you for that wonderful V8 exhaust note that makes grown men weak at the knees. Thanks for giving us a reason to use words like Kubang and Ghibli in daily conversations.

Mazda

Thanks for proving that vehicles can have it all; efficiency, style and performance. Thank you for admitting you’re not perfect by keeping the CX-9 alive.

Mercedes Benz

Thanks for adding all-wheel drive to AMG models and thank you for the segment busting CLA. Thank you for understanding that the world does indeed need a 577 hp wagon and six-wheeled G-Class.

MINI

Thanks for the track ready JCW GP. Thank you for realizing there are indeed too many MINI models. Thanks for realizing the MINI was too MINI and needs to be less MINI with the new MINI and for putting the speedometer and tachometer where they’re supposed to be.

Mitsubishi

Thanks for having the testicular fortitude to bring the Mirage to market. Thank you for allowing us to deafen passengers with Rockford Fosgate equipped Outlanders.

Nissan

Thanks for making the 370Z cheaper and the GT-R faster. Thank you for NISMOing the hell out of the Juke. Thank you for making a Versa we actually like.

Porsche

Thanks for the Cayman and 911 Turbo. Thank you for fixing some of the Panamera’s awkward styling. Thank you for allowing more people the chance to announce at parties “I own a Porsche” by introducing an entry level Macan.

Ram

Thank you for the air suspension and half ton diesel. Thank you for having a slogan that could easily be shared with the Walking Dead.

Scion

Big thanks once again for the FR-S. Hopefully we’ll have more to thank you for next year.

Smart

Thank you for the hipster favorite E-Bike. Thank you for enduring all the jokes associated with the name fortwo ED.

SRT

Thank you for adding launch control to the Grand Cherokee SRT. Thanks for bringing back the Viper and thank you for ensuring it can still BBQ bare legs.

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Thank you for the fantastic new Forester. Thank you for putting the Tribeca out of its misery. Thanks for teasing us with the sexy WRX concept, but then giving us something that looks like an Impreza with a hood scoop. Finally, thank you for the Forester’s sport hashtag mode.

Suzuki

Thanks for the memories.

Tesla

Thanks for a year full of interesting news stories. Thank you for proving a start-up can live-on if backed by a space traveling internet billionaire. Thank you for the Hyperloop and other forms of pixie dust.

Toyota

Thanks for the seats in the 1794 Tundra and thank you for partnering up with BMW on an alleged sports car. Thank you for making a Corolla with more personality than a doorstop.

Volkswagen

Thanks for the crazy XL-1. Thank you for getting up our hopes that a Sirocco may come to North America and thanks for killing the 2.5 liter five-pot.

Volvo

Thank you for announcing the V60 Polestar will be coming to North America and for bringing back wagons in general. Thank you for proving the older-than-dirt XC 90 is still one of the safest crossovers on the market.